Question: You have often said that it is necessary to repair the past, and for that one
must experience remorse of conscience. When I look at my childhood, I find nothing
but catastrophe—I lost my parents very early, and after that all sorts of misfortunes
followed. Instead of feeling remorse, I begin to complain. I find in myself someone
who feels sorry for herself, who complains and justifies herself. I would like to know
how to be free from this self-pity and how to rid my thoughts of things that seem like
injustices.
Gurdjieff: Justice, you know, is a big word. In the world it is a big thing. It is not just
anything—it is something objective. Objective things go according to Law, and
exactly as the Law causes them to go.
Remember what I have said—what you sow, you reap. And this Law not only
concerns individuals, but also families and nations.
Thus, events which happen on earth often come from what has been done at a given
moment by the father or grandfather. And the consequences fall on you, so it is you
who must face them.
This is not an injustice. On the contrary, it is a very great honor for you. This
responsibility will serve as a reminding factor. And, thus, you can repair the past of
your father, your grandfather, and your great-grandfather.
If this happened to you when you were young, it is because someone has sown it.
Now you harvest. One is dead, and it is another who harvests.
Don’t think only of yourself. You are a link in the chain of your blood. You cannot
consider that egoistically; or, if you wish, you can think of it egoistically, but only
insofar as it concerns your blood, not insofar as it concerns your little life. It is an
honor to occupy this place. Be proud of it.
The more you feel obliged to repair the consequences of the past, the more you will
remember all that you, too, have not done as you ought to have done. And, thus, you
will have ten times more remorse of conscience, and the quality of your Being will
grow accordingly. You are not a mere “dog’s tail.” You have a responsibility within
the lineage of your family.
Your whole family, past and future, depends on you. Your whole family depends on
how you repair the past. If you repair for everybody, that is good. Otherwise, it is
worth nothing. So you see what kind of situation you find yourself in!
Perhaps you are beginning to understand what justice is? Justice has nothing to do
with ordering your little affairs. It concerns itself with big things. It’s idiocy to think
that God should busy Himself with your petty things. It is the same with justice.
Justice has nothing to do with all this, but at the same time, nothing takes place on
earth without justice.
You wish to be a real man? The attribute of a real man is to be really awake or to
sleep well. Either really sleep or be really awake. It is not possible to sleep well unless
one has been really awake.